The Hound's Bark
Healdsburg High School
The New Office of Donald J. Trump
APR. 22, 2021
Have you been wondering what happened to our MAGAnificant ex-president since he left office in January? Well, neither have I, but for those who have, boy do I have the website for you!
Have you been wondering what happened to our MAGAnificant ex-president since he left office in January? Well, neither have I, but for those who have, boy do I have the website for you! At 45office.com, you can get special offers and propaganda regarding our 45th president of the United States, Donald J. Trump, and feel as though you are right there hunkering down with him at Maro-Lago! Here, you will find an easy-to-navigate guide to this exciting new website.
On the homepage of the website, you are greeted with a lovely photo gallery of Mr. Trump’s memorable times in the White House. Included are pictures of him dancing with his wife, kissing young children, and spreading COVID-19 at his enthusiastic rallies! Our eyes are also blessed with a picture of our brave ex-president shaking hands with none other than North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, formally known by Mr. Trump as “rocket man”. At the bottom of the page, a short paragraph describes Trump's desire to “preserve his magnificent legacy”. Well, with a frown, I mean a smile like that, who could resist!
The about page is provided to make you feel closer to your cult leader, and get to know him a little better! To start with, our quirky ex-President states that he is not like other girls. He is in fact the “first true outsider” to sit in the oval office. He then goes on to enforce his commitment to creating green energy, while reminding us that under his leadership, America became the world’s top driller of oil. Additionally, Mr. Trump assures us that he has done more than any president in history to keep people out of our country, while at the same time building our nation's largest immigration system! To conclude his list of accomplishments, President Trump thanks himself for acting extra early in combating the COVID-19 pandemic by taking it very seriously, because denying its existence for its first few months was very beneficial. He also credits himself with overseeing the development of the vaccines, including Pfizer, Moderna, and bleach.
We also get to learn a little bit about his daughter, I mean wife, Melania, who was born in Slovenia, helps kids and has won a bunch of awards that no one cares about.
The most exciting component of this website is the contact section, where you can directly reach out to the ex-president and his wife! The first section, share your thoughts, is for those who want to provide Mr. Trump with insightful commentary. You are required to share your name, address, phone number, and email address. Comments are optional. Another section allows you to request the presence of the Trump family at your personal event, something that we thought we could only dream of! A final section provides you with the opportunity to request a greeting from the ex-president, which needs at least six weeks to process. Acceptable greeting types include birthdays, anniversaries, and girl scout gold awards.